These are questions I’m asking myself (and my HP) a lot, lately. I feel strong in my recovery, and have noticed a lot of wonderful changes in how I get through my days. Things are much better, compared to how I felt while I was using.
However, that doesn’t mean I don’t experience discontent. Much of that is rooted in my career. I love the company I work for: I’m basically its number one fan! I am good at what I do, and I feel very grateful for all that I have received by working there. But I’m discontent.
My position doesn’t offer much in the way of promotion or advancement, and what is available requires continuing what I already do, with more responsibility and hours. To be honest, it doesn’t appeal to me to go in that direction. The job is physically demanding, and I’m getting older. The hours mean I’m off-schedule with almost everyone else around me. And most importantly, I’m not utilizing many of the natural talents and skills I possess, because there’s no demand for them in this position.
I always put my best effort into my work, but it leaves me drained, too tired to use my creativity the ways I want to when I get home. I haven’t successfully developed a yoga practice. I haven’t painted in months. I have managed to do many wonderful things since I got sober, but there’s so much more I wish I could do.
So I ask–where am I going, and how do I get there? Where can I best utilize those talents? Where will I be of the most service? Where will my intelligence, creativity, compassion, and enthusiasm be appreciated and put to good use?
I have found some interesting leads, but I feel a lot of trepidation about the process of changing careers. It’s scary, and fear is the last thing any of us want to feel. I made a lot of bad decisions out of fear, in my past. I don’t want to do that again–but I don’t want to do nothing, either!
I’m praying my HP will guide me in this process, because I’m really unclear what direction to move in, at the present. I’m sure things will fall into place when they need to. I hope it’s a smooth transition when they do.